I Declare a Beef Stew War!!
by Sakura Maxwell
Summary: Hehe, my first OLS ficcie! Humor, duh! And it's just like what the title says..^ ^;;


Disclaimer: I do not own Outlaw Star, do not sue me. This is merely for entertainment, nothing else.  
Warning: Mild-language  
Rating:G  
Note: Okay, this is my first OLS fic, so I'm warning y'all. Don't expect a really good one.   
  
~Gene loves Mel~=what a character is thinking  
"Jim's a genius"=what a character is saying  
  
"I Declare a Beef Stew War!!"  
by Sakura Maxwell  
  
Jim sighed as he pulled the garage door down. "Boy, that sure has a lot of work," he said tiredly. He dragged himself inside and saw Aisha on the couch, playing her gameboy.  
  
"Hey, whatter you doing, Aisha?" he asked curiously. "Shouldn't you be sleeping?"  
  
Aisha ignored him as she concentrated on the game. Jim blinked and read the cartridge.   
  
"Poke`mon," he said. "Poke`mon? Aisha?"  
  
"Heh aha!! Take that, Lance! I'll beat you in no time and be the Poke`mon champion!" Aisha exclaimed and pushed the B button.  
  
"Hey, Aisha?" Jim waved his hand in her face, causing Aisha to not see the screen for 2 seconds, but it was enough to make her final poke`mon, Entei, faint.  
  
"Rrrrr!!! You TWIT!" shouted Aisha and smacked Jim with her hand. "Ow! Aisha! Sheesh! It's only a game!"  
  
Aisha had those anime crying looks. "But I was almost done!! Just one more flamethrower at Dragonite and he woulda been history!!" She stomped off to her room.  
  
Jim watched her go, blinking. "Okkkkkkkkk..." He sniffed the air. "Hey what's that?" he asked himself and put his arms over his head and walked into the kitchen.   
  
Inside he found Melfina, cooking some beef stew.   
  
"Hey, Mel. That smells really good."  
  
Melfina looked up. "Oh, hi, Jim. Are you done from working now?" she asked. Jim nodded. "Yup, all done."  
  
Melfina smiled. "Well, that's good. Could you go and get Gene? I'm almost done," she said.  
  
Jim nodded. "Yea, sure," he said and walked up stairs towards Gene's door.   
  
He knocked on the door and yelled, "HEY! SLEEPING BEAUTY? WAKEY DAKEY!"  
  
There was no response so Jim cautiously opened the door and peeked inside. Then he groaned and had that annoyed anime look.   
  
~Man, just how many hours of sleep does he need really?~  
  
He lazily walked over to Gene's bed and looked at the sleeping beast, who was snoring loudly.   
  
He knocked on Gene's head with his knuckles. "Yo, Sleeping Beauty!! I said wake up!!" he said loudly, but obviously not loud enough for Gene to hear him because the big bloke kept snoring away in la la land.  
  
Jim groaned and inhaled. Then...  
  
"I SAID TO WAKE UP, YOU BIG SLEEPING, SNORING IDIOT!!" he yelled in Gene's ear.  
  
Gene woke up with a start. "Who? What? Where? When? Where's the food?"   
  
Jim cracked up laughing. Gene noticed the 11 year old and puffed his cheeks. "Oh, it's only you," he said, pissed off.  
  
Jim took no notice of this; managed to say between breaths, "Aw, man. You shoulda seen yourself!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!"  
  
Gene scratched his head and said, "Oh, shut up, you twit. Why'd you wake me up?"  
  
Jim calmed down and said, "Mel told me to tell you it's dinner. Of course, if you don't wanna ea--"  
  
"You still didn't have to wake me up. Why didn't Mel just come up?" he grumbled.  
  
Jim glared at Gene. "You're so lazy! We all work except you! Just sleeping all day and eating!! You never do ANYTHING!!"   
  
Gene glared back. "Oh yea? I saved you guys from the Kei-pirates! Without me you guys woulda been Kei-pirate dinner!!" he shot back.  
  
The two glared at each other for some time, sparks flying.  
  
Aisha and Suzuka stood silently by the doorway, watching the two fight.   
  
"They're so impossible," Aisha said, and chuckled softly. Suzuka nodded. "Like children, immature children."  
  
Gene and Jim looked up. "Hey, whatter you guys doing here?" Jim asked.  
  
"Mel told us to see why you people were so late," Aisha answered.   
  
"Yes," said Suzuka, "and what do we find? You two glaring away like children."  
  
Gene puffed his cheeks. "Who ya callin' a child??" he asked, peeved.   
  
Jim snickered. "Hey, she's callin' you a kid, too," Gene said.  
  
Aisha smirked. "Suzu's right. You guys are children."  
  
Suzuka rolled her eyes and said for the millionth time, "I would greatly appreciate it if you would not call me that."  
  
Aisha laughed. "Anywayz, hurry up, ya slow pokes!" she yelled and walked back downstairs.   
  
Suzuka calmly walked down, followed by Jim.   
  
Gene sighed and closed his door.   
  
"Hey, Mel. What'd ya cook?" Gene asked as he sat in on the couch next to Jim who 'hmph'ed.   
  
Mel brought out the pot of food onto the table. "It's beef stew," she answered.  
  
~Oh, man. Look at the curve....whoo-hoo...~  
  
Jim opened an eye.   
  
~Dork. Looking at Melfina like that... Horny idiot.~  
  
Aisha plopped down on the other side of the table next to Suzuka, who was, as always, sipping tea.  
  
"Mmm... Smells good!" said Aisha hungrily. Jim eyed her and warned, "Don't touch it `til Melfina comes back."  
  
As on cue, Melfina came with drinks (how she managed holding five is beyond me) and sat down in a chair.  
  
"Okay, can we eat now?" Gene and Aisha asked at the same time. Melfina giggled and said, "Yea, sure," and passed around bowls and spoons.  
  
Aisha and Gene dug in and had their bowls full to the max.   
  
Suzuka quietly took her share and began eating.  
  
"Hey...why you guys, mmm, not eating? Yummm, this is, mm, good," said Aisha, eating at the same time.  
  
"Boy, you sure have no manners," Jim said dryly. "Melfina, help yourself," he said, because he and Melfina were waiting for each other.  
  
"Oh, thank you, Jim," Melfina said politely; Gene glared at Jim, who grinned sheepishly.  
  
Jim took his share after Melfina and all ate with much commotion.   
  
"Hey, this..mmm, is good!" Aisha said between mouthfulls. "I give..it, mmm, 9, outta, mm, 10."  
  
Melfina blushed. "Thank you, Aisha."   
  
"But my Ctarl Ctarl stew would be much better and healthier. It gives you the strength of--"  
  
"Ten men," Jim said wearily. "We know, but do us a favor and don't make that nasty stuff again."  
  
Aisha exclaimed, "Hey!! That food is good for you Terrans!!"   
  
"No ways, it made us all slower so that dude, Shimi, hurt us," Jim said mockingly.   
  
"WHAT?! THAT'S CALLED SHIFTING THE BLAME!!" yelled Aisha.  
  
"I must admit, that Ctarl Ctarl soup did throw my system outta whack, I said that before. Aisha, what did you use in that horrible soup?" Suzuka asked.  
  
Aisha gave them all an anime annoyed face. "Fine! If you don't wanna be stronger, that's fine with me! But don't come running for some if you get your butts kicked by a Ctarl Ctarl!"   
  
"I'm sure we'll manage," Jim said, eating a piece of beef. Aisha growled and began eating again.  
  
~Dumb human.~  
  
Aisha looked at her spoon and grinned evilly.   
  
~This is what they get for not having any gratitude.~  
  
She put a pea on her spoon and aimed at Jim. She let go, but her finger slipped and the pea hit Gene instead of Jim.  
  
"Hey!" Gene exclaimed, and picked up the pea. He glared at Jim, who was still eating.  
  
"WHat's the big idea?!" he asked angrily at the 11 year old.   
  
Jim looked up, confused, and said, "Huh? What idea?"  
  
Gene held up the pea in his face. "This! Why'd you hit me with it?!"  
  
Jim blinked at it curiously, then glared at Gene. "I didn't do that! I was eating!!"  
  
All this time, Aisha was sneaking up the stairs.  
  
"Yes you did! You did that because you were mad at me!!" accused Gene.  
  
Jim put his bowl on the table and placed his hands on the table. "I didn't do it!!" he yelled in Gene's face.  
  
Gene did the same and repeated, "Yes you did!!"  
  
"I did not!!"  
  
"Did too!!"  
  
"Did not!!"  
  
"Did too!!"  
  
"Did not!!"  
  
"Did too!!"  
  
"Did NOT!!" yelled Jim for the final time and grabbed his bowl, which was still pretty full.  
  
"But I did now!!" he exclaimed and pushed the bowl in Gene's face.  
  
"AGH!" exclaimed Gene, and threw the bowl off; it landed almost on wittle Gilliam. Heh  
  
Gene picked up his spoon and loaded it with beef, then launched it. He got Jim in the hair.  
  
"Ah! My hair!" Jim immediately grabbed the pot of stew and jumped behind the couch.   
  
"Cheater!" grumbled Gene and took Melfina's, Aisha's, and Suzuka's bowls and jumped behind the other couch. "I declare a beef stew war!!" he, obviously, declared.  
  
By this time, Aisha was sitting on the stairs, watching quietly.   
  
~Oh, this is gonna be so hilarious!~  
  
Gene flicked a piece of beef at Jim. He bent down and pulled some water balloons out (never go without `em) and, with much trouble, loaded the balloons with stew.  
  
Now this took some time, so Gene, being very impatient about Jim not attacking and he wasting arsenal, called out, "Hey, Jim!! You coward!! Fight!"  
  
Jim snickered.  
  
~He don't know what's coming...~  
  
"Here!! Catch!!" shouted Jim and threw a beef stew grenade (as we will now call them) across towards Gene.  
  
This took Gene by surprise and it was too late. It hit him smack dab in the face.  
  
"Agh!" Gene rubbed his face with his arm. "You little... AHH!!"  
  
Another was aimed, but he ducked, and it hit Aisha in the face.  
  
Aisha blinked. Her face: O.  
  
"JIM, YOU DORK!! DON'T HIT ME!!" she yelled. Jim grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, Aisha. But this is war, there's bound to be casulties."  
  
All this time, Gene was stuffing beef stew in his gun.   
  
~Let's see if he can outlast THIS!!~  
  
"Eat this, Hawking!" Gene cried out and shot Jim.  
  
"Ahhhh!!" Jim felt his shirt, which was covered with beef stew. "I've been hit!!" he said dramatically and threw a beef stew grenade at Gene.  
  
It hit Gene in the eyes and he shot wildly, hitting Gilliam and knocking the poor wittle machine dude off the laptop table.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Now, when this first started, Melfina and Suzuka sneaked into the kitchen and were now taking out soda's from the fridge. They shook them violently and Melfina looked into the fridge again.  
  
"Will this cake work, Suzuka?" she asked, and held up a blue berry cream pie in front of Suzuka's face.  
  
"Yes, that'll do nicely," Suzuka said, "I wonder where Aisha is, she usually would be here scheming a wicked plan," and rummaged in the cupboard for chocolate.  
  
"I saw her on the stairs," Melfina said. "Why was she up there?" she asked and spotted some whip cream in the fridge also.  
  
Suzuka rolled her eyes. "Oh, right. She's the one who started all of this chaos. She was the one who flicked that pea at Gene. I suppose she was trying to hit Jim since he was mocking her, but she missed and hit Gene instead."  
  
Melfina only 'oh'ed.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"OMAE O KOROSU!!" shouted Jim.   
  
"OH, SHUT UP WITH THE HEERO YUY THING, JIM!" Gene shot back.  
  
"FOR YOUR INFORMATION, THAT'S WHERE I GET ALL MY TACTICAL PLANS!" Jim yelled.   
  
"IT'S A STUPID CARTOON!!"   
  
"IS NOT!"   
  
"IS TOO!!"  
  
"IS NOT!!"  
  
"IS TOO!!"  
  
"IS NOT!!"  
  
"IS TOO-"  
  
"WOULD YOU TWO STOP TALKING AND JUST FINISH EACH OTHER OFF?!" Aisha shouted from the stairs.  
  
"AW, SHUT UP!" Gene and Jim both said at the same time and shot their weapons at her.  
  
"Aiiieee!!" Aisha screeched.  
  
Then Jim threw another beef stew grenade at Gene and hit him in the shoulder.  
  
"HAHA!! MISSED ME!! NYAH NYAH NYAH NYAH NYA-AHH!!" Gene shrieked as Jim hit him in the face.  
  
"That's what you get when you boast, Gene Starwind!!" Jim exclaimed. "Now feel my wrath-WHAT THE HELL?! *gurgle*"  
  
"AHAHAHA!! LOOKS LIKE MELFINA WANTED TO HELP ME-AGH! *gurgle*"  
  
Suzuka threw her can down and got another in her hand and shot Jim again. Melfina did the same for Gene, giggling.  
  
"Mel-*gurgle*-you trai-*gurgle-tor!!" Gene managed to say. Melfina stopped a bit and looked at Suzuka questionally.  
  
"Go, go, go, Melfina. Put Gene in his rightful place!" cheered Gilliam, who was still on the ground.  
  
Melfina smiled and continued shooting Gene with soda.   
  
"Melfina, now!" Suzuka commanded and she and Melfina grabbed hold of two buckets full of chocolate and ran on each side of the couches. They dumped the chocolate on Jim and Gene as they passed.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING?!" Gene asked, enraged.  
  
"IT'S A CONSPIRACY!!" Jim cried out.  
  
Then they took out the whip cream cans from their pockets and ran back, spraying the two chocolate covered boys on the way.  
  
All the time Aisha was laughing hysterically. "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! GO SHOW `EM, SUZU!!" she cheered.  
  
Suzuka and Melfina looked up and Suzuka said, "For the last time, stop calling me that," and nodded to Melfina, who nodded back.   
  
Then they both shot Aisha with whip cream.   
  
"AGH!! HEY!!! WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS!!! I'M ONE OF THE PROUD CTARL CTARL'S!! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!!"  
  
"Yea, right," Suzuka said calmly and shot Aisha more. "I'm beginning to understand why Aisha always liked to play pranks on all of us."  
  
"THIS IS INJUSTICE!!" screamed Aisha and jumped down, slipping on chocolate. "WHAAA!! Oooooof!!" She fell on her butt and slided down and banged into the wall.   
  
"Ehhhhhh...."   
  
Jim and Gene, from the choclate/whip cream mess, looked up and saw Aisha. Then they started laughing.  
  
"AHAHAHAHA!!! LOOK AT AISHA!!" Gene exclaimed, gasping for breath.  
  
"KODAK MOMENT!!" said Jim, and tears came out of his eyes from laughing so hard.  
  
"Ahem," Suzuka said and sprayed Jim and Gene again to get their attention.   
  
"HEY!!! WHY YOU SPRAYING US!?" Gene asked, pulling out his loaded beef stew gun out.  
  
"Because Aisha was the one who flicked the pea at you, Gene Starwind," Suzuka said calmly.  
  
Gene sweatdropped and grinned sheepishly at Jim, who yelled, "I TOLD YA SO!!"  
  
"Jim, Gene, I think it's time to take revenge, ne?" Suzuka asked, aiming her can of whip cream at Aisha.  
  
Jim and Gene nodded and smiled mishieviously. They got their weapons and began countdown.  
  
"5"  
  
Aisha eyes went really huge, like saucers. Like this: O.O  
  
"4"  
  
Aisha scrambled to get up, but she kept slipping on chocolate.  
  
"3"  
  
"NOOOO!!!" screamed Aisha.  
  
"2"  
  
"Why me?" Aisha whimpered, anime tear eyes.  
  
"1"  
  
"ATTACKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!" shouted Gene and everyone bombarded Aisha with their arsenal's.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
So, how was it? It's me first Outlaw Star fic, so don't complain if it totally stunk. `Kay, Sayonara, Minna-san!  
Saturday, March 17, 2001 


End file.
